Mothers

I lost my mother toady! It was her 95th birthday. She had fallen three weeks ago and broke her leg, then had five heart attacks. She was moved from the hospital to a hospice care facility and moved again just last weekend.

She had said that she would stop eating if she was placed in a facility, but my older sister in Dallas choose to put her there anyway.

The question is, who was right and who was wrong?

I have had more than 68 comments on Facebook from kind people from all over the world wishing me well and wishing my mother a safe journey to the other side. Their generosity has been overwhelming.

But the real issue is their well wishes; first because the truly are for me and our connections and secondly based on their impressions of the relationships they have with their own mother.

I have a hard time admitting this publicly. First because it has always seemed so wrong, but mostly because I can’t imagine having a child and having that child feel no emotion s for me as their mother.

My mother was a young soul. She rarely ever put her children before herself. She spent the majority of her life orchestrating events to pit her children against each other and others. She took great job in the chaos she created.

I am happy for her she has finally passed to the next dimension. She finally understands what she has done and what she should have/could have done while being on the third dimension.

I channel my brother (Orion, the Tao of Spirituality) and he said she was hovering. She is struggling to transcend predominently because she is afraid of being judged.

My crew (the Fab 5 as they refer to themselves consist of My brother Tony, my father, my Uncle John, my mentor Ed and Michael who was my last relationship) are going to help her through this process.

It is sad to not have a emotional reaction to my mother’s passing. It is odd to not even want to attend her funeral services, but that’s how it is.

I always wanted more from our realtionship and even offered he a fresh start in 2001, but she wasn’t able of rising to the occasion.

Now she knows . . .