I had a very disturbing conversation with a friend today. She found out she’s loosing her job in a month and she now has an opportunity to move back home to Florida and be close to family again after thirty years in California.

She told me she feels guilty for making so many bad decisions and she was serious.

I told her that guilt is a complete waste of time!

She thought I was kidding. But I truly believe, fear, guilt, coulds and shoulds are   a total waste of your time and energy.

I asked her if the guilt would change what is. She of course said no.

She was  afraid that she’s made too many mistakes in her life.

My answer was and always is, there are no mistakes. Everything we do has a purpose. It provides a lesson or gives us the strength to manage the challenges were always going to deal with.

She tried to tell me she should have . . . and then listed several things.

My answer was to remind her of all the people she has influenced and positively affected over the years. If she hadn’t made the decisions she’s made, she never would have provided those people the opportunities she has.

I know it’s truly difficult to keep a positive perspective when you feel a bit beat up from an oppressive boss and have worked with people who feel they have a right diminish everyone else in hopes of bolstering themselves to an acceptable level.

But we have a choice in everything:

  • We can choose to accept other’s opinions of ourselves or choose to know ourselves well enough to not care what others think.
  • We can dwell on the past and beat ourselves up or we can look at the past as a lesson well learned and if it was a tough less, vow to never repeat it.
  • We can let circumstances paralyze us or we can embrace change and challenges with the idea that each situation in our lives enriches us.

It is up to each one of individually. Please learn to be at peace with yourself and learn to embrace the perfection of who you are.